My wanderings - 24 Most compatible couple

Once in my youth I had a chance to visit a remote village in Kashmir in connection with my official duties. I reached the village by official wagon as no  public transport was connecting the village directly. But official Wagon was not going to wait  and bring  me back because my seniors required the services of the wagon urgently. I was supposed to arrange for some public transport  on my return journey.
I finished my job in the evening and  tried to return to city as early as possible. The local people advised me to go on foot from a particular direction and after walking  three or four kilo meters I will find a crossing where from I can get  some long route bus to carry me to city. I meticulously followed their instructions  till I reached the crossing . It was pitch dark by that time. After waiting on the crossing for some time, I was encountered by few pedestrians  who told me that  last bus  has already left and I won't  be able to find any bus for city now. They also advised me  to look for some shelter for the night in the  village which was half a kilometer away from  the crossing.
I was perplexed as how to handle the situation, when I met a passerby who was conspicuous by his short stature and a  limp on his left leg. After knowing my fate he advised me to accompany him to his home which was situated in near by village. The man appeared very reasonable  and there being no other alternative available , I accompanied the stranger to his village.
On reaching the village he knocked  at the door of his small house. The door was opened by his wife who was accompanied by their little daughter. I could not see the face of his wife as there was already dark in the passage leading to  a small room  where they made me to sit. In the dim light of lantern burning in the room I was amazed to see the beauty of his wife. There was an unusual display of contrast between the husband and wife. The husband was of short stature having ordinary features and with  a limp in his left leg while as wife was a paragon of beauty. She had amazing features and wonderful gait. I had rarely seen a woman of such beauty earlier.  She was a living version of the painting of  a woman drawn by some famous painter. I was taken aback by her looks and could not tear away my constant gaze from her face to much embarrassment of the lady and amusement of her husband. I tried to divert my attention towards the articles placed in the room but could not control stealing some inadvertent looks towards her. The room was well decorated, with not so expensive furniture, but with an aesthetic sense and good taste. Nothing seemed out of place in the room.
After taking  our dinner and enquiring about my whereabouts, the couple began to satisfy my curiosity which they had noticed from my first gaze at the woman. My curiosity  was   justified  and excusable according to them while  I was feeling very apologetic of my curious behaviour. Both of them were so friendly and hospitable  that  they never  let me feel like a stranger . I was now feeling  at home in their company.
The woman began to narrate me her story. She told me that in her teen age she fell in love with a handsome boy in her village who deserted her later on for some rich girl. She was disheartened by the incident to the extent that she never wanted to marry in her life. But after lapse of some time destiny played its own part  as she had to marry this man. This was not a compulsion on her  rather she herself  volunteered to marry the man because  she could notice some good qualities  in him.  she was a bit skeptical   about her decision earlier. Latter on   she  never regretted over  her  decision.   She would not have been able to find such a  considerate, caring and loving husband. They  developed such a chemistry in their relation as if they had been made for each other. She was very happy in her life with this man. They considered each other part of their lives and their relation was not confined to mere physical appearances.
Then after sleeping in their house for few hours more I tried to catch the early morning bus. I left their house thinking about  the mode of their relation. Whether it was an abstract form of love or habit of living together or familiarity which is kind to ugliness and cruel to beauty that had balanced their life. But they appeared  real soul mates, made for each other, with out malice towards any one and the most compatible  couple that I had ever seen.

My wandering - 23. Samarpan

A boy and a girl were working as soft ware engineers in an IT firm in Banglore. The girl was from Maharashtra, who was brought up by her widow mother with much difficulty and after undergoing many emotional  upheavals in her life but her husband  had left them with a good fortune which he had earned as a businessman. That helped her to pursue the careers of her two daughters.  The boy was a Kashmiri pandit and only son of his parents, who  migrated from kashmir to Jammu  after the turmoil. But his father who was a police officer had to join his duties back  at Srinagar till his retirement. In the meantime boy completed his engineering from some obscure college of Maharashtra and secured a job in Banglore, where he fell in love with his colleague , a Marathi girl. However, the marriage was performed after much hurdles created by both the parties. After marriage the couple started to live  at their place of work  near Banglore. They lived happily for a year or so after marriage and  were blessed with a beautiful baby girl.  But cracks began to develop in their relationship with passage of time on flimsy grounds. As they were a working couple, the husband hardly helped her wife in domestic chores or bringing up of baby and whenever he helped her it was with an air of obligation. Although a maid was employed by them but she was not available with them all the twenty four hours. Sometimes in the midnight baby would cry, the husband thought that his  wife will look after the child. He has an urgent meeting to attend tomarrow. How can he spoil his sleep.
The wife was also in habit of nagging her husband and usually mentioning  about the help she provided by earning for the family. As in early times man was responsible to earn for the family and woman had to look after the family. The jobs of man and a woman were specifically identified and well defined. But nowadays when both the spouses are earning they have not changed their mindset with the changing times. The husband still thinks that if he helps the wife in domestic chores, he is obliging her and same is case with the wife if she is earning.
While reverting to the story, such little incidents created wedge between the couple to the extent that they decided to live separately.
In the meantime Boys father, who was a very dominant and practical person visited his sons separate living place and began to council him so that his son reconciles with his wife. He confided with him some  diplomatic tips of keeping his wife happy. At  last he said, If you want to keep your male ego alive, you should dominate the psyche of your wife in such a way that she is not able to take her decisions with out your consultation. But consciously she must think that she is making all the decisions independently. It is the psychological dominance you will have to create over
your wife. This is the secret of my happy marriage but the same  is to be handled very carefully, otherwise it may have negative repercussions.
The boy somehow reconciled  with his wife and they began to live together again. But he proved to be a bad desiple and could not implement his fathers diplomatic formulas properly. The result was the old skirmishes
began to creep  in the relation again , untill the mother of wife visited their joint residence for the rescue of their marriage. She was very pragmatic and sophisticated lady with a fair blend  of traditional and modern outlook and values.
After few days stay she began to council both her daughter and son-in-law  jointly.
She told them that marriage is a sacred institution which binds the two souls together for a life time. While friendship is between two equals but relationship can not be necessarily  between equals. Relationship always flourishes with an attitude of dedication and love which we call in Hindi as ' Samarpan' I.e total surrender of body mind soul and all belongings. The surrender should be reciprocal and both sides should consider the other side superior than himself. Even if there is complete surrender from one side only, it should be to the extent that other side should not take it for granted. It is a contract of absolute truth, utmost  good faith and mutual trust. If once the provisions  of the contract are breached upon, it is very difficult to repair the  damages. She also told them how difficult it is  to live a lonely life with out a spouse, particularly  in old age. She gave them practical examples as she was living such type of  life herself. After hearing the advices of  their mother, the husband and wife looked at each other and vowed to live a life afresh which shall be full of trust and mutual understanding.
Ramesh Kaul
rkkaul.blogspot.com

My wanderings - 22. The old Man and a Girl

               An old man retired from public works,  a long ago  was living alone now, because his mother had died few years back. She was his only companion right from his birth as his father had died before his birth.  She  had brought up him as a child in much drudgery and poverty. She worked from Dawn to dusk tirelessly to provide all the facilities including a good education to his only son and never let him feel any sort of  deprivation   which could hamper his development. She did all the odd jobs including domestic help and baby sitter to make her both the ends meet. But the boy could not grew up as a smart and handsome youth to the much expectation of beautiful girls of his age. Perhaps much pampering of his mother or absence of his father had made his personality a bit oddly conspicuous. However he possessed a very good temperament and flawless character. With great difficulty he could arrange for his job but he was not able to find himself a match. Even her mother could not find a match for him through arranged marriages despite of her strenuous efforts. Most of the girls rejected him and left him dejected and finally he decided not to marry and spend his life in the service of his mother, who was growing old now.
              After the death of his mother he was feeling detached and forlorn. Now the meaninglessness of life was haunting him more  than the  fear of approaching death. He could not feel any significant difference between the two that is life and death.
In the meantime he grew up a friendship with a beautiful and young girl through social media. They started exchanging text messages and came to know about  each other through it. It was really a hilarious experience for the old man. He started to feel a thrill in his life. He would wait hours together to receive her messages or exchange Greetings with her. She was a young orphan girl living with her distant relative. She was a student and taking a few tuitions also. They came to know about the life of each other through exchange of messages or telephone calls, if necessary. The old man started giving her advices on all the matters of concern and helped her to seek even a job  by accompanying her on the day of interview in Public works, where  he could arrange for the recommendations. The old man found a purpose in life. He derived the joy  by helping this young girl . The girl also developed a faith on old man and began to share all the secrets with him. She also sought advices of old man where ever necessary. Old man also helped her sincerely, wherever his resources allowed him and sometimes even out of turn. The faculties of old man began to sharpen day by day and he  could give sagacious advices to girl, which were well appreciated by her. The drudgery of young girl also lessened with the passage of time.   The love and affection is a mutual understanding between two individuals with a bond of trust and good faith which can not be confined to a particular relation, age or caste.
In the meantime girl was in affair  with her colleague, who wanted to marry her. The girl gave her consent and disclosed all about her relationship with the old man to the boy. He appeared to be suspicious of this relationship and never allowed the girl to meet the old man again. When old man came to know about this he  felt very sad. But no sooner he recovered from this gloom than he nominated the girl as the heir of her all movable and immovable property.

My Wanderings - 20 Relationship. Husband and wife

The hero of my story is a common young man who falls in love with a beautiful woman of his age and marries her with the mutual consent of their parents with out any  hurdles. The mutual understanding and love lasted for fifteen years of  their marriage. In the meantime they gave birth to two children son and a daughter. After fifteen years they began to feel intolerant  about each other  and finding faults became their usual course of business. The husband  got highly  disgusted with the nagging behaviour of his wife. The wife  also could not tolerate the autocratic attitude of her husband any more.  Moreover, they got fed up with each others company and the glitter of marriage which remained for few years  began to fade away in the due course of time.
The husband preferred to stay more in office in the company of his lady  colleague who was very fashionable and having very good etiquettes. She had also a  fine  figure always draped in minimum clothing as per the demand of latest fashion and finery. Moreover lady was also married and  having  two children. She was not also satisfied with the marriage and very critical of her own vagabond spouce.  The company of lady gave much solace to the husband and he began to spent more time with her.  The lady appeared to him more accommodative and intelligent.  Both developed a relationship and husband could not resist the temptation of her  looks any more, which she enhanced with beauty aids. He announced his decision  of divorcing his wife and marrying the lady after reaching home. 
Leo Tolostoy once said, " why gambling is forbidden and not the dressing up of women in  the prostitutecal finery, particularly meant to excite men, is not  forbidden. That is thousand times dangerous than gambling. But the idea of tolostoy is very old and not applicable to present times. He would  not have been tolerated by women rights activists, had he been living presently and  had expressed such a point of view  on women. Now we believe that  it is the male  mindset which  is responsible for rapes and broken marriages and not the dressing up of women. Convictions and values change  and society becomes more permissive with the passage of time which leaves no scope for judging the ethics of both the statements.
While resuming the story, the wife is taken aback on hearing the immediate decision of her husband to leave her for another women. But good sense prevails upon  her  and she reconciles with the reality and agrees to leave  her immoral husband and live an independent life.
But the lady in question was neither in mood to leave her  children nor her  vagabond spouce. The relationship which she had developed with the man was sort of escapism sought by her from the drudgery of her routine life, with out considering the implications of it.
Now the man had no other alternative but to remain contended with his wife. The wife stoically continued the relation with no emotional scope for love or hate in it. Now she never nagged or loved her husband  and the man who was under emotional breakdown never interfered in the matters of his wife. His possessive nature ,which he changed now, had made him autocratic.
                  Marriages are arranged in heaven and celebrated on earth, made for each other couples, Soul mates. These quotes sound very pleasant and lovely but this may not be true in reality. Human nature is subject to change and no man or even for that matter of fact woman can claim to remain loyal to their spouses through out their lives. Every person gets bored after living with the same individual for years together and it is not surprising if he or she looks for an  alternate relationships. But how most of the couples remain together in spite of this trait of human behaviour  present in all and only few persons prove  themselves rebellions by separating with each other.  It is not  only the love that  binds the couple to remain  together  but habit of living together and mutual interest  in their children which persuades them to live together throughout their lives

My Wanderings - 19. Fathers and Sons

In the sullen atmosphere of an old age home at Delhi an old inmate was lying on bed, feeling desperate and the whole environment there presented a gloomy look. His dishevelled hair ,sunken eyes and frail body were betraying the alertness of his mind which was reminiscing  the memories of bygone days particularly the turbulent period of his life. Perhaps he was at the last stage of his life as memory was not failing him like his health. He could see vividly the scenes of his life moving on the celluloid screen of his vigilant mind.
  After migration from Kashmir,  a Pandit couple along with their only son managed to get a two room hutment at Jammu on exorbitant monthly rent. But still they considered themselves lucky after living a desperate life  in tents for months together with out any civic facilities. The man was at the verge of retirement and  his  son was doing  engineering final year. Son got the chance to continue his studies at make shift camp college at Jammu.
As the son was born to the couple after undergoing many emotional upheavals in  life  and leaving no stone unturned,  they pampered the child to the extent that he had become a bit self centered, but he was very good in studies. After completing the engineering son got a very good job  at Delhi. When  Father   retired from service  he purchased a flat at  Delhi with the money received as superannuation benefits. Then couple shifted to Delhi to live with their son. After few years they married their son with a girl from very affluent family. In the meantime son got a very good job opportunity abroad and shifted there along with his wife. The parents had no other alternative but to remain contented at Delhi.  For many years son used to send money and gifts to them and asked them to visit his place abroad. The  parents were not interested in going abroad and son used to visit them once in two three years of his own. After some time mother died of heart attack at Delhi. Son along with his wife reached from abroad within a reasonable time of his mother's cremation. After completing all the rituals on the death of his mother he along with his wife retuned back to his place. Father was now living alone in the flat  along  with the memories of his wife.  Time passed and his  health started to fail him due to old age. There was nobody to look after him except a part-time  maid who helped him in domestic chores.
The son also could not visit him now often because of one pretext or the  other. Finally old man decided to give his flat on rent and shift to some near by old age home, where some one can take care of him. Now son had completely forgotten him. He never visited him for the last eight years  since he shifted to old age home. While reminiscing the incidents of life and  controlling his emotions he  could not stop few drops of tears to roll over his shrunken face and subsequently closed his eyelids which never opened again. He was relieved from all mental agony and body pain which the last stage of  life  provided  to him.
The last rites of old man were arranged by the management of old age home ,for which provision had already been made by him, after informing his son, who could not make it convenient to reach on time.
When son received the message of his father's death  he took the message most stoically and reached Delhi at his convenience. Then old age people handed over him the last remains and few belongings of his father which he disposed off most reverently along with  his fathers flat and left for his place with satisfaction.
When he reached his home he found his neighbours wife  very much upset due to the sudden death of her pet dog. She wept  bitterly for the whole night and it took him months together to come out of grief.
The grief of lady was perhaps due to the attachment with her dog. The dog lived so close with her and she could feel his absence. While the son had not visited his father for the last eight or ten years. He had snapped all the links with him. He was neither used nor attached to him now. This may be the reason that he could neither  feel the absence of his father in his life nor was emotional about his death.

My Wanderings - 18. The Man and a Woman

                He  retired recently from a public office. He  began to spend half of his pension of Rupees forty thousand on  himself and his wife's monthly expenditures and rest he gave in  charity to an old age home. His wife a staunch  religious women in her mid fifties was very resourceful and a good housekeeper. She used to pray daily in mornings and evenings for hours together and observed all the rituals as per her religion. But she was also interested in good things in life  including a nice wardrobe for herself. He was very  silent person but his sunken eyes and haggard look spoke volumes of  his experience of life and public office. He had no children of his own but he loved and cared for all the children in his neighbourhood. He had inherited a large house constructed on a big piece of land from his family. There were only two inmates living  in the big house with the occasional visit of their maid who used to help them in household chores on monthly charges. Their life was going on peacefully until,  once he confided to  his wife about his idea of exchanging his big house with an old age home located in their vicinity,  which  had only three rooms to accommodate large number of inmates.  He tried hard to explain to  his wife about the futility of their occupying a big house,  which could be  otherwise of immense use  to the old age people. But his wife did not agree to his  proposal, although she understood the rationale behind the proposal, that they could live most comfortably in three rooms. He tried to convince her with the logic that they may not be able to maintain the big house in future due to advance age. But his wife was so possessive  and emotionally involved with the house that no logic on the earth could convince her. She could remember the good old days when she entered the house as bride. The house was blooming with all the decorations and lights with loud sound of music vibrating the atmosphere. The persons living in the house at that time were  her father in-law, mother in-law and two young brother in-laws who were serving in the army as officers. She had seen all the ups and downs of life in that house. Life was a learning experience for her with which she was  rather grown up in that house.  She remembered vividly how the gloom befell on the house when they received the news of her two brother in -laws killed in  a single war. She also remembered that when she could not conceive after two three years of  her marriage, how the Doctor declared her inability to  give a child to family. Her husband was advised by so many well wishers to go for another marriage. But he never agreed to it. He did not want to desert her loving wife for the sake of children. Moreover, he consoled his wife and taught her how to live with out children. Time moved on but she never let  even the thought of exchanging her house occur in the mind of her husband. The husband who had never hurt the feelings of  his wife through out  the life had finally to give in.
She used to tease her husband and call him atheist as she never saw him praying to God. Perhaps she was not acquainted with the sensitivities and joy of renunciation with which her husband was blessed. This sense is usually ordained by nature.
Finally after some years her husband died a natural death. It was  really a peaceful death. He slept Hale and hearty in the evening but could not rise from his bed in the morning. It was perhaps a heart attack. The wife remained shocked for several days as she could not reconcile to his death. He was her most intimate life companion who always helped her and never let her feel the absence of children in her life.
Now she was lonely and due to the  old age she was not even able to help herself. She used to remain confined to single room in her large house. She began to feel the absence of her husband very much. She would aways be gloomy and melancholic. One day while she was thinking about her husband, a thought struck her mind which gave her immense pleasure. Next day she called the Manager of old Age home and told him that she wanted to share  the vacant rooms of her large house with the inmates of already burdened old age home.  Many old persons from old age home were shifted to the house and She lived happily until her peaceful departure from this mortal world.

My wanderings - 17. She

She personified divinity with a glow  on her radiant face  expressing grace and glory of feminity. Her dark black and long hair  over flanking  her white shoulders created a spectacle of contrast. Her dowry consisted of pearls and gold. Pearls in her mouth and gold in her heart. Not only her heart but she was worth her weight equal to gold because  of  her generosity and high character.  No body could dare to speak of her virginity  as she was epitome of innocence and sincerity from head to heels. As all were jubilant to welcome the newly wed  bride, destiny was playing its own part to lessen the joy of newly created union.
The new bride being very honest and sincere confided to her groom on the very first night  about the assault on her modesty  in her childhood by some unscrupulous relative.
All the joy and enthusiasm of groom connected  with marriage evaporated into thin air despite his rationale outlook. He could not reconcile to the reality,  which he desperately wanted to be a prank played by his wife  and persuaded her to confirm it as a lie. But the wife being honest to the core of heart  could not change her statement. The bride on visualising the frustration of her groom wept bitterly throughout the night. All the good qualities of bride appeared to under weigh her only one disqualification to which she was neither a party nor had given her consent.
The mind of groom got influenced with the bias against his bride to the extent that he began to think it  as a  crime of honour committed by the latter  against him. His mind was full of revenge and lost all love and sympathy for his bride. A visible crack began to appear in their newly developed relationship.  Not a single idea of reconciliation occurred  in the mind of Groom.
But time is a great healer. After few days a good sense prevailed  upon the  Groom. His thinking began to show signs of change. He realised that fighting  duals and crime of honour are talk of bygone days and only reflect the memories of barbarian era. If we can not protect the   dignity of women, we have no right to decline the marriage on  such flimsy issues. These days scores of  incidents appear on Newspapers, where modesty of women is said to have  been outraged or assaulted. Even small girls are not being spared. Who is responsible for it. Unless the male mindset is changed, no body can point a finger towards the modesty of woman. If the man is responsible for all these rapes and exploitation of woman, he can not escape the responsibility of providing safe and dignified future for such exploited women. Chastity of mind and soul is more important than the chastity of body. Body is mortal and soul is immortal.  With these thoughts in mind Groom deeply regretted for his rude  behavior with his newly wed wife and went to ask for her apologies. Then they lived happily ever after.