My Wanderings 114. Short Story No.63. A River Is lost when it's Banks part

My Wanderings 114

Short Story No. 63

A River Is Lost , when it's Banks part

            Manmohan Nath usually called Kaka ji , was living with his mother in a lane near Ragunath Mandir Srinagar in a very big house. It was his ancestral house  but his father had died much earlier leaving behind his  young wife and a little son Kaka ji. His mother Radha Mal, mostly called by his son and others as Kakni,  had brought up  his son in much agony and  adversity. She made her two ends meet by spinning cotton and wool , handed over to her by shwal and kaleen makers , on her spinning wheel . In return she would get some paltry amounts of money to look after her son and herself. In addition to this she would also give on rent some portion of her house to villagers , who usually came to  city for studying or doing a job. Radha Mal was a very nice and kind hearted   woman and helped all the neighbourly women with her advice and even sometimes with cash or kind with whatever little resources she could afford . She never compromised with the education and  upbringing  of her son Kaka ji  at all. She would work more harder on her spinning wheel ,whenever she needed money for her sons requirements .

                           Manmohan was also good in studies and never let her mother to complain on this account, but being the only son of his mother he got a little pampered . He would not sometimes, listen to his  mother when he reached  to the stage of adolscence. It was  hard for Radhamali to control her son as a single parent . Sometimes she would curse her fate for the early death of her husband , who's presence  could have made her life much easier. As she knew very well that  destiny can not be redeemed for good , one has to remain satisfied  with whatever a person gets in life. Moreever , Manmohan felt more lonely without his siblings and he would mostly loiter in  streets and play with his friends . Radhamali had sometimes to roam  in streets, to know about his son's  whereabouts as she used to get  worried about him often , whenever he was out of her sight or was late in reaching home.

                          One day after school hours Manmohan decided to visit a cinema hall to witness a cinema show with his friends and could not reach his home on time, Radhamali spent hours together on streets to look out for his son . It was really a nightmare for her on that day ,as she could not prevent the bad thoughts about her son creeping in her mind  . 

                   As Manmohan was very good in studies, he completed his graduation which was not a simple task those days . It was the happiest day for Radha mali and she spent most of her savings on tea parties, she arranged for her relatives , neighbours and whosoever came to congratulate her on this occasion. No sooner Manmohan graduated, he got a permanent job in Central Govt. 

             After sometime , Radhamali was advised by her relatives to look out for a bride for her son. Soon Radhamali found a good match proposal  for her son . The  girls name was Shanti and she was a school teacher . Manmohan was not ready for marriage yet, but he could not resist the sentiments of her Mother, who was much optimistic about this matrimonial proposal received by her for her son . However, he accepted the proposal most  reluctantly and Radhamali started the arrangements of  marriage for her son. After passage of some time Manmohan got married to Shanti and Radhamali was overjoyed and let the celebrations of marriage continue for some more days . 

                  Manmohan also liked his wife so much and fell in love with her within a short period of time. They would sit together in gardens ,river banks , boulevard etc. for hours together and express their love for each other openly . One day sitting on the river jehlum  bank, Manmohan said to Shanta, " you can't imagine how much I love you Shanta."

"Yes I know dear you love me so much", replied  back Shanta. 

Then Manmohan pointed towards the flow of water and said," Shanta Love is like river never ending as it flows, but gets greater with time".

Shanta replied ," Love me a little dear but for longer please".

Manmohan said again," As I already said love is like a river ,it will cut a new path whenever it meets an obstacle. Thereby our love will last for eternity ".

Shanta nodded her head in affirmation with a lovely smile on her face.

                Their love continued for a year or so but then cracks started to develop in their relation. Their love evaporated like drop of water on the hot pan.  They started to find faults and criticizing each other on flimsy grounds . Manmohan was very much intrested in planning a family as he had lived a lonely life with out his siblings.  Shanta was not  ready to bear  a child  so early as she was a career conscious woman.  Then Mamohan told his wife that she should leave her  job and help his mother in household chores. Shanta refused to leave her job blatantly which hit the ego of Manmohan and he began to behave more rudely with her . Shanta was not also so peaceful as her name implied. She also began to pay her husband in the same coin. 

                          One fine morning she left Manmohan's home for good and started living with her parents but  she continued her job. The ego of Manmohan did not allow him to bring his wife back despite of many requests by his mother. With the passage of time the gap between the two became deeper and both got busy with their jobs etc. Shanta started to visit the Ashram of a great saint of Kashmir alongwith her parents in her leisure time and became deeply involved with spirituality. As a matter of coincidence Manmohan also started to practice spirituality under the guidance of some south Indian Guru , who used to visit Kashmir in summers alongwith his disciples. He even suffixed his Guru's surname with his name and accomplished various spritual tasks under his guidance .

                     The Guru of Shanta was very revered and famous saint  of  Kashmir. He also tried hard to bring reconciliation in relations between  Manmohan and Shanta but failed in the mission as both remained adamant on their convictions. 

Time passed,  seasons changed and lot of water flowed from Jehlem but there seemed no chance of reconciliation  between the two. In the meantime mother and Guru of Manmohan died and he became lonely,  but he could  never reconcile with his wife. 

                One day Manmohan met Shanta on Budshah  Bridge Srinagar  as they were crossing the bridge on opposite sides . When they reached near each other Manmohan stopped in front of her. Shanta also had to stop. After exchanging pleasantries she  enquired about the death of her mother-in-law.  She said to Manmohan, "Kakni was a nice woman. May Shiva grant her sathgati."

Manmohan accepted her condolences while  nodding his head and bringing a fake smile on his face.

Then Manmohan said," can't we reconcile now and start living together again."

Shanta replied to Manmohan," We could not remain together in our youth and what is the fun of living together in the autumn of our lives, as we both are heading towards old age now."  Then pointing towards flow of water underneath the bridge she  said," you once said love is like a  river but I say life is like a  river and rivers never go in reverse . So try to live like a river . Forget your past and focus on your future."

Then Manmohan said," Even though I miss you so much it comforts me to know that we are atleast under the same sky."

Then Manmohan and Shanta again parted for good.

                          It was only after some time  kashmiri pandits had to migrate to Jammu and other parts of India due to turmoil and insurgency in Kashmir 

After migration of pandits to jammu , the parents of Shanta also died one after another and she became more dependent on Ashram now. Then her Guru also passed away and she decided to remain permanently at  Srinagar Alshram  as his services were required there. 

After some time both retired from their services consecutively one after another.   Manmohan also decided to remain at  Kashmir  only and finally shifted to Mata Khir Bhawani Ashram and started living there permanently in total penance .

                After a long time Manmohan could be seen there in long white beard, disheveled hair and unkept attire. He had become indifferent towards everything . Even his pension was stopped by the bank from a very  long time  , because he never bothered to submit his Life certificates  there.

Finally Manmohan died in the premises of Mata kshir Bhawani shrine , unknown and unlamented.   His last rites were also performed by unknown pilgrims present in the premises at that time. No body could claim his property and  Bank deposits maintained at Srinagar. 

Shanta also died quite recently leaving all her assets to Ashram. 

rkkaul.blogspot.com

My Wandering 113. A perception with deception towards none Jammu and Kashmir elections 2024

              The results of recent elections in J and K have enlightened us  about various aspects i.e. psyche of voters living both in jammu and Kashmir and that of leaders of various parties and independent candidates  who fought the elections in J&K 

             First of all we should be thankful to present central Govt. for making the situation in J and K congenial for holding free and fair elections with majority of voters participation    after thirty four years of turmoil in the state due to neighboring country's sponsored terrorism. It is really a great achievement for Modi Govt. that people of Kashmir have accepted the sovereignty of Indian constitution  by participating in the recent election with thumping majority. It may be due to progressive policies of central Govt. Implemented in J and K or due to bankruptcy of Pakistan in recent years or blood shed in Kashmir due to militancy for the last 34 years curtailed by indian Govt.,  that people of Kashmir have realised the power of Indian democracy and sovereignty. So kashmiris  have decided to be part of it and not get swayed by empty slogans of Pakistan. 

            Now the results show that National conference and alaince have won with  a thumping majority from kashmir region alongwith some seats from Jammu region also  . But BJP has won 29 seats from Jammu  only out of 43 seats and no seat from kashmir region. Whereas PDP has won few seats from kashmir only .

                 These  results show complete polarisation of votes. Kashmiri Muslim voter has totally  voted for NC keeping in mind that BJP should not come in power. While as Jammu Hindu voter has also tried to vote for BJP only but with some divisions which made NC also to win some seats from Jammu belt. 

The results also  show that kashmiri people were interested in forming a stable Govt.in J&K and they have tried to stop the division of votes . Moreover, they have not relied on the mandidate of ex militants or Jamat people who also  tried to fight the elections and lost with heavy margins . The  candidates of engineer Rashid and brother of Afzal guru are such glaring examples who lost the elections . 

                Now NC and allies will form the Govt.in Jand K   and Omar Abdullah is  undisputed candidate for CM's post. While giving interview to BBC correspondent,  he has clearly described his stance . He said that it is not possible to restore Aricle 370 and 35A in  J&K with the consent of BJP Govt.in power as they  were actually  instrumental in lifting the same. May be in future there will be change  in central Govt. ,then only matter of restoration of aforesaid articles can  be taken with them. But restoration of Statehood to J&K is our priority. The central Govt.has already promised that process will take place in three phases 1.delimitation 2.election 3. Restoration of Statehood . Two phases have already taken place and 3rd phase  I.e restoration of Statehood will be processed soon after we take the charge and recommendations  will be sent to central Govt. for their consent. He also clarified that  our Govt.will work for all the regions including Jammu,  who did not however, vote for us. When asked about 5 nominated members in assembly will surely be from BJP, he told that this will not make any difference as they will still sit on opposition benches as our numbers are higher.  Still if it could effect our formation of Govt. in any way, we can go to supreme court against it.

             It is really disgusting that there will be no representation of Jammu or kashmiri Hindus in new Govt. More depressing is the loss of elections by  our  most vocal BJP leader Sh. Ravinder Raina, who could have been an ideal leader of opposition party in the assembly . 

My Wanderings 112. Mahavakiyas of Vedanta

MAHAVAKS OF VEDANTA !!

The Great Utterances: 

The Mahavakyas are the Great Sentences of Advaita Vedanta and Jnana Yoga, and are contained in the Upanishda. 

Maha is Great, and Vakyas are sentences, or utterances for contemplation. They provide perspective and insights that tie the texts together in a cohesive whole. 

There are seven Mahavakhs in Vedanta to understand the Truth. Let me try to explain the each Mahavakh for our understanding.

1. Brahma satyam jagan mithya !! 

    Brahman is real; the world is unreal 

    (The absolute is real; the world is unreal or only relatively real).

2. Ekam evadvitiyam brahma !!

     Brahman is one, without a second 

     (There is one absolute reality, without any secondary parts ).

3. Prajnanam Brahman !! 

   Brahman is the supreme knowledge. 

   (Knowing the absolute reality is the supreme knowledge).

4. Tat tvam asi !!

  That is what you are. 

  (That absolute reality is the essence of what you really are) 

  (from Chandogya Upanishad of Sama Veda).

5. Ayam atma brahma !!

Atman and Brahman are the same. 

(The individual Self is one and the same with the absolute). 

(from Mandukya Upanishad of Atharva Veda)

6. Aham  Brahmasmi !!

I am Brahman 

(Who I really am, is that absolute reality.) 

(from Brihadaranyaka Upanishad of Yajur Veda).

7. Sarvam khalvidam brahma !!

  All of this is Brahman 

   (All of this, including me, is that absolute reality).

They sing a song together: As one comes to experience the truth of the individual Mahavakyas, it seems they come together in a song,  that cries out in joy, "All of this is brahman!" As was said in the beginning, it is a process that comes from person-to-person listening (written and oral), followed by deep reflection, contemplation, and meditation.

Sanskrit:                                                            English:

1. Brahma satyam jagan mithya. !!           Brahman is real; the world 

                                                                 is unreal 

2. Ekam evadvitiyam brahma> !!              Brahman is one, without a 

                                                                  second 

3. Prajnanam Brahman. !!                          Brahman is the supreme 

                                                                  knowledge 

4. Tat tvam asi. !!                                        That is what you are 

5. Ayam atma brahma. !!                             Atman and brahman are 

                                                                     the same 

6. Aham brahmasm. !!                                  I am brahman.

7. Sarvam khalvidam brahma.!!                    All of this is Brahman.

My Wanderings 111. Short Story No 62. The Bend in Jehlum

My Wanderings  111

Short Story No.  62

The Bend in  Jehlum 

                       This is the tale of human sentimets on one side and that  of  demonic responses  on the other. This is the tale of love affection, trust and sympathy on one end  and  that of  Hate deceit and ridicule on the other. This is the tale of distress , desperation and resilienence  on one way  and  that of opportunism  and selfishness on the other.

                  The house of Rajeev  Koul was located  on the banks of River jhelum near habba kadal . His ancestors were living there for the last thousands of years enjoying the nice climate of valley and the company of all their  friends and relatives who were living around the area. Mostly there were people of his own community living in the  locality but some people from Muslim community were also living there who had purchased the houses of Hindus. Both the communities were living in peace and harmony.  Rajeev was working in state govt. Department on a very high  post . He had one fast  friend and neighbour  from Muslim community also, whose name Mohd.Amin . Mohd. Amin was not able to complete his education. It was Rajeev only who had helped him to get a job of peon in his department . Later on he was promoted to the  post of clerk there.

              In the mean time both the friends got married and had children. Rajeev was blessed with  a son and daughter . Mohd Amin was also blessed with two sons and a daughter. The wife  of Rajeev was a working woman and wife of Amin was a housewife 

             One day Rajeev was allotted a plot of land at Shivpora colony opposite badami Bagh area.  Mohd Amin accompanied Rajeev to locate his alotted  plot and to check the area . There, while making tour of the area , they observed that  jhelum had a  bend on one spot and it was  making a U turn around Shivpora and then again flowing normally after making a small U turn again . Rajeev said to Amin," you see the bends and U turns in river appear so  beautiful here , but such bends and U turns  should not occur  in relations. Amin nodded his head slightly in affirmation. 

                   After some time a house was constructed on the plot of land   and Rajeev shifted his family there . In the mean time Amin also shifted to  Sonwar area along with his family ,to join his in-laws . The sonwar area was very near to Shivpora and their friendship continued . 

Then It was after ten years, militancy started in Kashmir. There were selective killings of Kashmiri pandits and the community was threatened to leave the Kashmir or to face consequences . Many pandit woman were abducted ,raped and killed. Most of the Kashmiri pandits  shifted to Jammu and other parts of India to protect their life and honour . Rajeev had also to leave Kashmir alongwith his family in emergency ,  with out any belongings as he thought that he will return to  Kashmir after some time when the situation will be normal .  He handed over the keys of his house to Mohd. Amin and requested him to look after his house in their absence. 

                  Rajeev alongwith his family remained with some relatives in Jammu for a month or so and then shifted to a rented accommodation and started purchasing new clothes, utensils ,bedding etc.as he had not carried with him household goods when he shifted to Jammu. He had to admit his children in schools at Jammu and arrange for their tuitions also. Time passed at jammu most desperately,  in scorching heat and with out any avenues to mitigate heat except fans. 

                              It was two years after migration,  Amin visited their rented house at Jammu. The two friends talked for hours about the situation in Kashmir. Amin advised Rajeev that situation in Kashmir Is getting from bad to worse . At the departing time , Amin  casually asked   Rajeev, " What have you  thought about the disposal of your house at Shivpora?" 

Rajeev sternly replied him back  that he can not sell his house at shivpora with   which his sentiments are attached.  

         After  gap of six months Amin again visited his friend Rajeev at Jammu. This time he told them that lock of your house has been broken open  and some militant like people are living there. It will be better for you to sell the house, otherwise you may loose the house for good. I know a broker who can sell your house through an attorney, which  can be  appointed by you . At that time Rajeev was in dire need of money as he had to send his elder son for training to pune . Therefore, Rajeev most reluctantly agreed to the request of his friend and made him the attorney of his property. The deal was struck at throw away prices and transfer of money had  taken place. Actually Amin himself wanted to usurp the house of Rajiv and therefore, told him lies about the occupation of his house by militants . The title of the  house of  Rajeev was transfered to the  wife of Amin under proper documents  through attorney of the property. 

             Thereafter,  Amin never visited the house of Rajeev at Jammu again.  Later on Rajeev also understood about the real character of Amin , and he  left to think about  him altogether . 

   

                 It was only after Rajeev's elder son had completed the engineering and got his placement in some private company, and his daughter was doing MBBS at jammu , he came to know about the news of his friend Amin .Rajeev was told by some other neighbour at Shivpora that one night Mohd.Amin's daughter was abducted by militants and married to  the gun and the marriage was consummated by all the gun men together. Then after sometime she was divorced by these gunmen by making three fireshots from the same gun symbolic of teen talaq under sharia law . Then she was left at the door of his father at Shivpora. From that day onwards she always remained in depression and became  a big liability for her family. After this incident one of the sons of Mohd.Amin also left his home and took gun to avenge   the rapists of his  sister. But no body knows his whereabouts from the day he left his home. 

                With the passage of time Rajeev made his own house at Jammu and he married  both his  children and they got settled at different parts of the country. Rajeev alongwith his wife used to visit their children for some time after the retirement .

                  It was quite recently when the situation in Kashmir improved to a great extent.  Rajeev decided to pay  a visit to Kashmir alongwith his wife to revive his old memories. . He stayed there in a Hotel near Indira Nagar and visited the highly revered pilgrimages like Kshir Bhwani , sharika bhawan ,Shankaracharya temple. He also visited some tourist places like pahalgam , Gulmarg, verinag etc. 

                 One day Rajeev  thought of visiting his old house at shivpora , where Amin was living now with his family. When they reached near house, they found a large gathering of men and woman around the house . When they enquired from the group  of people near  the house, they were informed  that owner of house Mohd.Amin has died early in the morning . They did not enter the house , but waited outside the house until the coffin of Mohd Amin was carried out for doing his last rites . Rajeev touched the coffin of Amin and  said towards  coffin , " Amin my friend , you are leaving this world so early but you could not carry my house with you for which you betrayed my friendship."

No body could hear what Rajeev said in the noise of weeping and wailing of women and men . Then Rajiv left the place for good....

 

Life is pleasant , Death is peaceful. It is the transition that is troublesome.

rkkaul.blogspot.com

My Wanderings 110. Better to aim at a lion and not killing it rather than hunting for Jackal and killing it.

            It is not sucesses only which make us  perfect in life but failiures also help us in making our life perfect. The experience we get from failiures is sometimes more important for us than what we get from sucesses. . Actually we should have a fair mix of successes and failiures in our life, which will make our life balanced.  Success is acheived mostly because of good luck i.e when opportunity meets our preparation but failiures makes us to create opportunities as per our preparations . 

                   Dreams are something which are important for person to accomplish but more than that we sometimes  get more from pursuing that dream , and not accomplishing it, then we  accomplish many of them.  

                 When we send our kids to play organised sports like football , soccer, swimming whatever for most of us, it is not because we are desperate for them to learn the intricacies of the sport . What we really want them to learn is far more important  i.e. team work, perseverance,  sports man ship , the value of hard work , an ability to deal with adversity. This kind of indirect learning is sometimes more important . 

                   There is lot of talk these days about giving children self esteem . It is not something you give them .It is something they have to build. There is only one thing to build it . You give them something they can not do, they work hard until they find they can do it , and you just keep repeating the process. 

                    Sometimes credit was given for choosing  difficult problem and not solving them rather than choosing easy problems and solving them completely. 

                    Many startups choose their CEO's from failed companies , to make their enterprise a success , because they recognise the potential in them , and who  later on came to their expectations and proved them right. 

My Wanderings 109. Short Story No. 61. His Estranged Mother

               It was cold  January of Nineteen ninety eight  when I was transfered to Srinagar on promotion from Pathankot.  There were my  several other batch mates from Jammu and other parts of India who were alloted accommodation in our Banks guest house near Badami Bagh area alogwith myself. The rooms of guest house were shared by two persons each  and I also had to Share my room with another batch mate from Jammu, who appeared to me  very sober and  gentle person.

          After a day or two  because of rush created at the guest house due  to arrival of  our batch, another colleague of ours  was asked to share our room , who most reluctantly joined us as he was not happy to share the room already occupied by two persons. He was in no humour to have chat with us either,  because he appeared  very  angry ,  as he had  a hot  argument with guest house manager over  sharing  of the  room. We did  not also like   his presence much  in our  room as we took it as an intrusion in our privacy and  it could   make  our room crowdy. But we were helpless to stop the entry of third person in our room. Later on he compromised with the situation  and slept like a log till  late while snoring throughout  the night. 

In the morning after breakfast we all shifted to our  workplaces with out much ado.  

                            After a  few days he started conversation with us . His name was Jugal Dhar  and he was also from Jammu. He was  very handsome person  having   fair complexion with a tuft of brown hair  on his head and with blue eyes. He appeared very intelligent and daring. He was very much concious of his rights and would fight with any  person who tried to  compromise with them. It was not only his own rights , he would fight for others also if he found somebody in distress.

                He mostly used to talk about his father,  who had passed away before his birth . He once said, " My relatives tell me that my father was just like an English man , very tall and fair with golden hair." Whenever asked about her mother ,he would cut the sentence short by saying, "she also died after my birth and I was brought up by my uncles in a joint family". Sometimes , he would narrate the harrowing  tales of his torture by his uncles, aunts and cousins right from his childhood . They appeared to us like horror tales. One of the tales which I still remember is that once he was going to appear for exam. through snow laden paths wearing the shoe of his cousin and when the  later  came to know about this, he chased and forced  him to take off his shoes. Jugal had to reach exam centre bare footed. There were so many horrowing  tales of his torture which he had to undergo during his childhood. But being  intelligent and fast in accademics he completed his education and got a good job . Thereafter , he  started living independently . Later on he married a girl from  an affualent family after falling in love with her. After his marriage the horrowing experiences of his life came to an end. He loved his  wife and children so much.

            Once he told us that he was having some heart ailment for which he had an  operation recently and now he was alright but he was taking  some high antibiotic injections  weekly at near by hospital . Sometimes I also accompanied him to hospital as it was advised to him by his  doctor that he should not go alone to the hospital for taking injections. One day he said to me, " I am very much scared about my health problem. It is not for me that I worry but it is for my children , who are in their teens yet. I consoled him by saying that nothing will happen to him and  he will live a very healthy life but he said nothing in response and looked at me with a fake  smile. 

                        In the meantime one of our colleagues was transfered and Jugal was alloted new room to share the same with another person.  But the bonds of friendship developed with him for the last few months continued. 

                         Later on somebody told us  that the mother of Jugal was very much  alive and not dead as stated by him. Actually after death of her husband and  birth of Jugal , she had remarried and left her toddler son with his uncles at parental house. She never cared to know about Jugal till migration of our community to Jammu. It was after the death of her second husband her step sons,  whom she brought up with love and care, deserted her at jammu as they themselves were living in  small one room hutment because of scarcity of rented houses at jammu those days 

Jugal had already constructed a house at Jammu for his family as he had shifted to jammu much earlier. His biological mother came to know about the whereabouts of Jugal and one day knocked at  his door. When Jugal opened the  door of his house , she disclosed her identity to him. Jugal was shocked to see her all in blood and flesh.

She said to Jugal,"  it is an old saying -whether ilegitimate or legitimate one should have her own child  and you are my legitimate and biological son. I  want to  stay with you in this old age. 

But Jugal refused her offer and shut the  door of his house.  When Jugal entered his room , he fainted and recovered from the shock after a long time. Then Jugal noticed her several times on the road side waiting for him ,whenever  he was leaving for office. But Jugal never entertained her. 

          Now reverting to Story  it was month of December of the same year ,  the Jugal came to Srinagar after a long leave to join his duty.  He was alone in his room and I was also alone in my room. He requested me to join him in his room. I promptly accepted his request .  He offered me a drink or two. We both enjoyed the evening in his room listening to ghazals  of Jagjit singh as he was a music lover. Next day when I came from office , somebody knocked the door of my room.

              As I opened the door,  it was a waiter who told me that my  friend Jugal is sinking in his room . I hurried towards the room of Jugal and noticed that some of our colleagues had already arrived . I touched the face of Jugal and then his pulse . His face had turned blue in colour and I could not find his pulse . In the meantime ambulance was called  and we took the Jugal to hospital, where he was declared brought dead . Next day body of Jugal was brought to Jammu and handed over to his family for cremation.

                  In cremation ground people  noticed an old woman wailing and weeping a little far off. Perhaps she was his estranged  Mother. After this scene no body ever noticed her.

My Wanderings 108. Short Story No 60. Her Last wake up call

                           Arvind was a very daring and straightforward person right from the time I came into his aquantance. He boldly encountered all the problems which he faced in his life. After changing various jobs he finally got settled in central excise department. He got married to Usha a very beautiful and educated girl who was working as a teacher in state  education department .  It was love cum arranged marriage as he had  fallen in love with her at first sight and arranged marriage with her through the involvement of his parents. Usha was really a very nice person with all the womanly virtues like humility, love care and honesty. 

            Their married life was going on  in most cordial  and compatible manner and they were enjoying the blessings of married life to the hilt. After some time  they were blessed with a baby girl, who came into their life like a divine boon.

          It was  only after the birth of their daughter that  Usha began to show some signs of ailments which continued through out her life  and always  became a  reason of worry for her husband Arvind.

          Strange are the ways of nature as no body can anticipate about what is stored for him in providence.  First she had  cynocytes  which latter on developed into chronic asthma and made the quality of her life miserable .  Then after some years she was diagnosed with heart problem which required immediate operation . After  successful operation some of the problems of couple were mitigated at the cost of  some care and attention which she required  through out the rest of her life.  But the  problem of asthama continued to add sufferings to her life . A small exposure to dust or soot would make her life miserable. She would often complaint that death was better than these sufferings  which she had to undergo because of these illnesses.

                One day her husband in order to console her said , " Sometimes it takes a wake-up call from God to alert us to the fact that we're hurrying through our lives instead of actually living them; that we're living the fast life instead of the good life. And I think, for many people, that wake-up call takes the form of an illness.

" But why the other people who are not ill so often,  do not require this wake up call from  God,"  replied back Usha. 

"  Life is difficult for every one , every one has bad days but  God tests his dear ones only  by putting them in  more adversity and misery. The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful than all," said her husband . These consoling  words of  Arvind brought a smile on the face of  Usha and she fell asleep. 

          With the passage of time and ageing process Usha became  more vunrable to these chronic illnesses  as her immunity was very low. Sometimes attacks of asthama would make her life very miserable and she had a narrow escape from death like situation. One day while cursing the quality of her life she exclaimed in great sorrow,  "Chronic illnesses are like uninvited guests who never seem to leave.  They stick around sometimes, for life time , reshaping the way our body function . They don't just play with our body , they can also mess up with our minds. Living with chronic disease can make us  feel letdown, isolated,angry  and downright sad."

"But chronic illnesses can also be an  opportunity to find strength , grace and sometimes humour in the face of challenges it provides," replied Arvind.

"Oh, it  is all what's app knowledge .  only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches", said Usha vehemently. 

Arvind could not coin a proper reply to Usha's words and choose to remain silent. 

                      He was very much worried about the health of Usha. Moreover, he felt the intensity of the  problems of Usha deeply and a mere thought of it would bring sadness to his face.  He knew already  one day Usha will leave him for good and he may  not be able to do anything. His life will become desperate and desolate  with out Usha. His body will become  just like a living corpse in her absence . His life will be aimless and rudderless too . He will not bear the death of Usha in any case. How he will look up after his daughter which was now in  her teens . These thoughts of separation from Usha would bring tears to  his eyes but  he always mustered the courage and encountered Usha with resolute and smiling countenance. 

              One morning Arvind slept till  late in his bed. His wife Usha came to awaken him but all in vain. Oh God ! Perhaps that was her last wake up call to him . Doctor was called in , who declared Arvind dead and cause of death was heart attack. Usha fell down on the floor with a wild shreik  and was motionless. The people around thought for a minute that she too has passed away. But after sometime she got up and mustered courage to arrange for the final rights of her husband while consoling her teenage daughter , who was weeping vehemently. 

         A death from a long illness is very different from a sudden death. It gives you time to say goodbye and time to adjust to the idea that the beloved will not be with you anymore.