My Wanderings 120. My Urdu Nazam aur Ghazal 5. Woh raakh muje lota do

Woh mere  purkhoo  ki jageer, woh Mera  poora Kashmir, muje lota do.

Woh meree virasat Mera khwab, woh Mera chodvi ka mehtaab, muje lota do.

Woh meree zameen woh meri jaan, jise kahte the Sharda Dhaam  , muje lota do.

Woh meri virasat Meree taqdeer jisme  rahte the sant faqeer , muje lota do.

Woh Kashyap Rishi ka basaya Shahar, Jo kahlata tha kashyapmar, muje lota do.

Jahan Abinavgupt ne diya  Shiv ka gyan , jisko mana poora Hindustan,muje lota do.

Jahan Adishankar ko mila tha Shakti ka poora  gyan, woh Kashmir muje lota do.

Jehan rehta tha Pandit Rishipeer , jisne Aurangzeb ko di thi maat , mujo lota do

Woh mere khet mere khalyan, woh  seboo aur akhrotoo ke bagaan, muje lota do.

Woh mera khir bhawani ka asthaan Jo tha Mera   dil aur jaan, muje lota do. 

Woh shankaracharya ka Mandir aur woh Hari Parbhat ka asthan,  muje lota do.

Woh mere barfani Baba jisse kehte hai Amarnath , muje lota do.

Woh mere  vitasta ke sundar ghat, jehaan par the mere Mandir aur Makan, muje lota do 

Meri  khoyee huyee woh saakh, mere abao ajidad  ki raakh, muje lota do.

Woh mere khwaboo ki tabeer , jise kahte hai Kashmir, muje lota do .

My Wanderings. 119 My urdu Nazam 4. Meri Ghazal

My Wanderings 119

My Urdu  Nazams Ghazals 4

Husne Ghazal

Woh bahut purassar aur purnoor chehra 

Jo  badi massomiyat  se  Bara Tha 

Laboo pe  tha uske Tabassum ka jalwa

Magar shaksiyat Mai takaluf ka pehra .

Woh behtar   sleeke  ki tarbiyat si 

Aur tabiyat Mai  uske bahut sadgi  thi 

 Badi sansani uske guftaar  Mai Thee

Jaise Chupa ke Rakha tha  raaz Gehra .

Dil  se uske chalakti thi shafkat 

Rukhsaar aise ki ho maye ke piyale 

Dantoo ke  badlay  moti jadde the 

Ankhain  thi aise ki ho jeel  thahra.

Hasiyat  thi uski mahobat se labrez

Hoonto se phoot-ta Tha Tarannum

Ehsass Mai tha bahut hi  tawazun 

Kesuvoo ka rang  bi Tha   Sunhara .

Woh ped  se lipti hui nazuk  si  dalli

Magar khud se uthne ki takat nahi thi 

Dil mai the uske hazarroo hee nagme 

Magar gungunane ki Himmat pe parda .

Bahut usme nafasat ki taleem bhi thi

Woh banna bigadna aur phir sambhalna  Bahut us pe nakadoo ki bhi nazar thi

Magar Maine usko Har nazar se ubara.

Woh besakhta aur  bebaak nazre 

Diloo Mai Chalati thi jaise woh nasthtar 

Muje be bahut dilbari uss se hui  thi 

Magar Hadd se nikalne ki jurat se hara .

Badi hasratoo se Maine usko sanwara 

 Aur mushkiloo se zahan se utara 

Woh koi nahi meri pehli ghazal thi 

Meri  thakhleeq ka tha  wohi ek dehra .

Woh kaisa waqat  aur kaisee gadhi   thi

Ghazal dool par  aise giri thi, jaise koi phool ho shakh se .

Ramesh, Kanhi yeh Sheikh  ka hi karm to nahi Tha.

Jisney behatasha usko  kaha tha ki parda Karo.

rkkaul.blogsotcom

My Wanderings 118. Urdu Nazam 3. Raze Vehdat

Jab se  meri pehchan Mai hai aaya ,  woh purnoor brahman.

Bahut  shadmaan hai  tab se mere dil ki unjman .

Aur Jab se pilaya Hai  usne muje  jaame ulfat 

 sarshar hoo Mai  tab se jaan kar uski azmat.

 Bahut hi  mushkil  hai samjna  yeh raa

ze  vehdat.

Mai bi wohi hoo yeh ehsas karta hai koi khush kismet .

Kaise Bayan karoo Mai  uske dil mai Kitni hai  shafkat.

Shadab hai har shay aur  har bashar aesi  hai uski Rahmat. 

Jisko khud Shinasi ke  ehsas se  twaruf Hua hai 

Wohi zindagi aur duniya  ke Har raaz se wakif hua Hai .

Adi shankar ne  bola shivoham , aur sab  se azeem se banai  apni  pehchan.

Ashtavakr ko bi  to aata Tha nazar Har  bashar aur Har shay Mai bagwaan.

Abhinav Gupt ne  shivstotra ka Kiya mutala 

Woh bi adait ved  hi Tha,  jiska usne  Kiya khulasa.

Mansoor bi vehdat se  Pur assar tha , jab usne analhaq ka nara lagaya.

Magar jahiloo ne usko  kafir  samajkar,  badi berahmi se sooli pe Chadaya.

My Wanderings 117 My Urdu Nazam. 2. Ehsasse Khudi

My Wanderins  117

Urdu Nazam   2

Ehsasse khudi

Khilwat Mai baithkar, Mai talashta raha  apne wajood ko.

Bahut sonchkar bhi, Mai haqeeqat se kabhi roobaru na hua .

Muje garoor Tha  ki Maine pada Hai bahut roohaniat ka adab.

Mai apne vajood aur khudi  ko  doondne ki pooree Karu talab.

Maine lakh  koshish ki ,magar kamyabi haasil na  Kar paya. 

Mai  mayoos hokar, ye khayal  bhoolne ke liye majboor ho gaya.

Magar ek din vedant aur upnishidoo se  Mera twaraf mere ustaad ne karaya.

Phir maine  vedant  aur upnishidoo ka bahut hi mustadi se Kiya mutala.

Vedant Ne mairee sonch ko sanwara, upnishid ko Maine apne zahan Mai utara.

Iss apni virasat se  Mai behad kayal hua aur muje khud ehsasi ke shawoor ne nikhara.

Woh Vahid hai, beshakl hai, aur mojood Har simt hai uska nishan.

Woh ek shawoore aks  hai jiska Jalal Zare  Zare  Mai hai Ayan.

Woh be- iftida aur  be- intiha hai , woh lafani hai, aur uska  na koi bi Ayaam. 

Uske hukum se hi chalta hai yeh zameeno, aasman  aur sari kaynat ka Nizam.

Mai jisko  doondta raha beyahbanoo aur kohsaroo mai uska to mere andar hee  chupa hua  hai haraf.

Kudrat to ek shwoore aks Hai Jo Bramha se lekar ek gaas ke tinke  tak  Jalakta Hai Har simat Har taraf .

Mai to ek insaan hoo, mere dil mai bi, woh shawoore aks karta hoga guzar.

Mujmai bhi phir kudrat se us aks ke zarye pehchan banane ka hua Assar.

Muje  maloom hua Mai na yeh jism hoo aur na yeh zehan ,na akal aur na yeh  garoor .

Mai to hoon in sab se pare aur usi Param Brham ka shawoore aks hoo, aur bahut purnoor.

Phir bahut koshishoo aur nakamiyabiyoo ke bawajood , ek kamyabi muje  nazar aayee.

Tab se muje, mujme hi nahi Har bashar aur Har shay  Mai usee ke aks ki  jalak ayee.

Usi ka aks dikhta hai pedoo Mai  aur podoo Mai, wohi dikhta Hai mujko  jungle Mai kohesaroo Mai.

Wohi dikhta Hai chaman Mai aur Gulshan Mai. Usi ka aks dikhta Hai beyahbanoo aur registanoo Mai. 

Wohi dikhta Hai Darya aur Samandar Mai. Usika aks ayan Hai Suraj ,Chand ,taroo mai

zameen Mai hai wohi   , aasman mai  bhi hai  wohi  , iss  dil mai hai wohi ,iss jaan Mai bhi  hai wohi  . Garz yeh ki  Poore kaynaat Mai hai wohi .

Mai gaflat Mai pada Tha, mujko Pata nahi Tha, Mai kon hoo aur kisliye is duniya Mai aaya. 

Vedant ne muje  sikhaya , upnishadoo  ne  bataya  ,  sab Gaflatoo se mujko  ubara .

Pehchan mil Gayee  jab  se mujko, uss banda Parvar ka.

Muj Mai hua hai  tab se gayab  yeh ehsase kamtari ka.

Mai to samaj  gaya hoo,Tu parambrahm hai , aur Mai  Tera hi hoo bahut hi  Adna sa ek  Hissa.

Ab bas yehi hai hasrat Kab miloo mai  apne dilbar se aur Khatam ho duniya  Mai  aane jaane  ka kissa.

rkkaul.blogspot.com

 .

My Wanderings 116. My Urdu Nazam 1. khushiyoo ki Talash

My Wanderings 116

My Urdu Nazam. 1

Happiness 

Aey dene walay, too ney sab ko kuch na kuch diya

Kissi ko Khushi di to kissi ko zahanat atta Kari. 

Khushi woh shay Hai Jo zaroori Hai Har Bashar key liye

Jis ko zindagi Mai  Khushi na mil saki  woh zahanat ka kya karey.

Tune  muje  aay dost zindagi Mai koi Khushi na di 

Par yeh kya Kam Hai tere hone se mujko Khushi ki vajah  mili 

Tu ne hamesha  meri zahanat pe shak Kiya 

Isiliye mujse taluk Katta Kiya

Mai doondta raha khushiya tere vajood Mai 

Baki muje aur tawakoo na tuj se Tha 

Bade Sikandar aur kalandhar is duniya Mai aaye aur Chale Gaye. 

Afsoos magar bahut,  inmese koi  bi Khush na rah saka.

Khush jo raha is kaynaat Mai, meri nazar Mai woh sab se azeem Hai.

Baki yeh Malo, zar aur khitabo, khilate bas sirf yeh dikhawe ke chonchle hai

Khushiyan woh aisee shay nahi Jo Bazar se kharidi Jati ho.

Yeh insaan ke andar hi chupi Hai Jo koshish se jagai Jati Hai.

Khalkat se mujko kabi zaheen sun ne ka  koi shok nahi hai Ramesh .

Magar yeh  iltija Hai sab se ki muje ta-umar 

Khush Rahne ki Dua kare

RKkaul.blogspot.com

My Wanderings 115. Short Story No. 64. OMASHORI

               I was  but a small child , when my father was  transferred  as Medical officer to a  small hemlet of Pattan,  located on Sringar Baramulla National  Highway. The village of Pattan was not of much significance , except a small hillock on the back side of our residential accommodation and a small rivelet flowing from its front side. There was  also a spring ,with a small  prehistorical temple , having a diety of unknown origin inside it. The Spring was  surrounded by Idgah , School and Hospital. While entering the Village from Srinagar side there were big dilapidated stone structures in the shape of huts , like that of Awantipora , known as 'pandav lari' ,which attracted attention of newcomers to the village. There was not any other temple as village was mostly inhabitated by Muslims only, except a few  Hindu employees who were transferred to this village temporarily. 

           My father had rented a residential accommodation, a banglow type  constructed on the road side , the verandah  of which was mostly occupied by the patients , who used to come for consultation to  him , early  in the morning. Then after taking some lunch,  my  Father would go to  the hospital . In evenings  he used to visit some patients living  around in adjacent villages like Palhalan  etc.on  horse back or tonga . I was also admitted first time in the school in pattan only.

                   After some time a nurse cum mid wife was appointed in the village hospital to take care of maternity issues. Actually trained  nurses were not available those days and  even if available, were few  and far between,  and mostly confined to cities only. Nurses for village hospitals were selected by giving local   training of midwife to some School pass outs. The name of nurse , who was sent to pattan hospital , was Omashori. She was very gentle and simple woman in the age group of late  forties. Her own thoughts and reflections  were habitually,  her best companions. She had a very fair complexion  with blunt features. She was usually seen wearing a white sari,  properly clad on her head. The most spectacular thing about her personality was a  black broad  rimmed spectacles hovering over  her small blunt nose.  A room wth a kitchen was arranged for her living purposes by my father, less than a half  kilometer away  from our residence. She usually visited our house in her leisure time and used to gossip with my mother and they both became very good friends soon .  

                      She confided to my mother  everything about her past  life.  She said to her that her parrents had already died and she was brought up by her uncle. As she grew up, she was married to a cunning person who always took advantage  of her simplicity and harrased her for complete two years , being the period she remained with him. She also could not bear any child for him  , which might have softened the approach of her husband towards her. However, One day she left her in-laws for good and started living with her uncle once again . Then her aunt and cousins also started harrasing her  there. Her uncle told her one day,  "you  be a lady,"  and for that  he meant , to be your own person, to be independent .  Then he managed to get her a  job of midwife in the medical department so that she becomes independent . He also  transferred in her name  a small portion of house ,  being the share of her parrents,  as she was the only child of her parrents. In th mean time her uncle died and she also  got divorce from her husband . Then her husband remarried again to some other woman. 

           As already said Omashori was very simple rather a  simpleton and any body could take her far granted. My mother guided her always in dealings with other persons. As it is rightly said that no person can understand a woman better than by another woman. 

                 Before advent of  1st April my mother properly cautioned  her  that on that day , some body may play prank with you in hospital . You should stand  their jokes properly and take decision only after fully pondering over it. You should keep in mind first that it  is 1st April and they may be making fool of you. 

She replied, " Oh! It is so nice of you that you advised me in advance  about the Ist April. I will take due precautions on that day  not to get carried away  by their pranks."   So she left our house feeling very happy and confident.

             My mother already knew her one weakness,   that she felt elated whenever she got a chance   to visit a patient, which however, she got rarely. 

Next day  on 1st April , early in the morning my mother sent my elder brother and sister to the residence of Omashari with a message that she had to accompany my father to a village nearby, in a tonga, to help him, as there was a very crucial maternity case. Omashori was eagerly looking out for such a chance. She immediately switched  off the stove on which  her meals was getting prepared, with out waiting for getting it fully prepared . She wore best  of her dress and carried her  professional  bag on her  shoulders and rushed towards our house . As she reached there she  began to sniff some mischief being  played upon her , as my father was leisurely doing his daily chores. My mother had not disclosed, to my father,  any thing about the mischief being played on Omashori.  He was  so amazed to see her so early  and that too properly dressed in our home. Omashori felt so ashamed as my mother had already advised her to take due care on this date. Then my mother requested her to take  breakfast and lunch at our home and she didn't join her duty that day. 

              In the mean time Omashori had become very close to our family and we started treating her as a family member. She used to spent a lot of time in our home as she was feeling very lonely in her apartment. 

              After some time Omashori was destined to face a harrowing experience, which made her strong and  changed her outlook towards life totally and no body dared to took her for granted, henceforth. 

The landlord of her rented house was a Muslim family man. But his   younger brother , who was also residing with him,  had a  large  hunch on his back and looked very ugly  by appearance . He was very crooked and mean also  . He was not married either, because no body in village was prepared to marry his daughter to him. One evening he told Omashori, " Why do you bolt the room of your door inside during night?" " We have enough of security here as we keep main door of the  house and gate of compound properly locked." " you need not to worry about this." Omashori could not suspect any malafide in his statement  and started leaving her room unbolted from inside, when she would go for sleep. 

                    One night hunchback opened the door of Omashori's room slowly and found her fast asleep. Then he bolted the door from inside and reached near Omashori's bed and started molesting her. Omashari woke up and on finding the hunchback so close to her bed,  she gathered courage and  pushed him away  backwards giving a hard hit on his chest with her right hand , which made him to stumble on the ground snd that too on his  back. Then she  immediately left the room, trampling him under her feet ,after unbolting the door and stepping down from stairs and reached to the compound of that house , where she  started crying for help. The brother of hunchback and few neighbours came immediately for her rescue but she refused to go back to her room. After few hours and with the advent of dawn, omashori left the house and reached to our home to brief us about the   harrowing experience,  she had that night. My father after some time went to police station and filed a FIR against the hunchback,  who was apprehended immediately by the police.

                  Every women need to know that they can get out of any situation if they return to their core source of strength, themselves.

After some time Omashari changed her residence and moved ahead, while forgetting the past ,as she choose to live rest of  her life , more confidently and in best way.

My Wanderings 114. Short Story No.63. A River Is lost when it's Banks part

My Wanderings 114

Short Story No. 63

A River Is Lost , when it's Banks part

            Manmohan Nath usually called Kaka ji , was living with his mother in a lane near Ragunath Mandir Srinagar in a very big house. It was his ancestral house  but his father had died much earlier leaving behind his  young wife and a little son Kaka ji. His mother Radha Mal, mostly called by his son and others as Kakni,  had brought up  his son in much agony and  adversity. She made her two ends meet by spinning cotton and wool , handed over to her by shwal and kaleen makers , on her spinning wheel . In return she would get some paltry amounts of money to look after her son and herself. In addition to this she would also give on rent some portion of her house to villagers , who usually came to  city for studying or doing a job. Radha Mal was a very nice and kind hearted   woman and helped all the neighbourly women with her advice and even sometimes with cash or kind with whatever little resources she could afford . She never compromised with the education and  upbringing  of her son Kaka ji  at all. She would work more harder on her spinning wheel ,whenever she needed money for her sons requirements .

                           Manmohan was also good in studies and never let her mother to complain on this account, but being the only son of his mother he got a little pampered . He would not sometimes, listen to his  mother when he reached  to the stage of adolscence. It was  hard for Radhamali to control her son as a single parent . Sometimes she would curse her fate for the early death of her husband , who's presence  could have made her life much easier. As she knew very well that  destiny can not be redeemed for good , one has to remain satisfied  with whatever a person gets in life. Moreever , Manmohan felt more lonely without his siblings and he would mostly loiter in  streets and play with his friends . Radhamali had sometimes to roam  in streets, to know about his son's  whereabouts as she used to get  worried about him often , whenever he was out of her sight or was late in reaching home.

                          One day after school hours Manmohan decided to visit a cinema hall to witness a cinema show with his friends and could not reach his home on time, Radhamali spent hours together on streets to look out for his son . It was really a nightmare for her on that day ,as she could not prevent the bad thoughts about her son creeping in her mind  . 

                   As Manmohan was very good in studies, he completed his graduation which was not a simple task those days . It was the happiest day for Radha mali and she spent most of her savings on tea parties, she arranged for her relatives , neighbours and whosoever came to congratulate her on this occasion. No sooner Manmohan graduated, he got a permanent job in Central Govt. 

             After sometime , Radhamali was advised by her relatives to look out for a bride for her son. Soon Radhamali found a good match proposal  for her son . The  girls name was Shanti and she was a school teacher . Manmohan was not ready for marriage yet, but he could not resist the sentiments of her Mother, who was much optimistic about this matrimonial proposal received by her for her son . However, he accepted the proposal most  reluctantly and Radhamali started the arrangements of  marriage for her son. After passage of some time Manmohan got married to Shanti and Radhamali was overjoyed and let the celebrations of marriage continue for some more days . 

                  Manmohan also liked his wife so much and fell in love with her within a short period of time. They would sit together in gardens ,river banks , boulevard etc. for hours together and express their love for each other openly . One day sitting on the river jehlum  bank, Manmohan said to Shanta, " you can't imagine how much I love you Shanta."

"Yes I know dear you love me so much", replied  back Shanta. 

Then Manmohan pointed towards the flow of water and said," Shanta Love is like river never ending as it flows, but gets greater with time".

Shanta replied ," Love me a little dear but for longer please".

Manmohan said again," As I already said love is like a river ,it will cut a new path whenever it meets an obstacle. Thereby our love will last for eternity ".

Shanta nodded her head in affirmation with a lovely smile on her face.

                Their love continued for a year or so but then cracks started to develop in their relation. Their love evaporated like drop of water on the hot pan.  They started to find faults and criticizing each other on flimsy grounds . Manmohan was very much intrested in planning a family as he had lived a lonely life with out his siblings.  Shanta was not  ready to bear  a child  so early as she was a career conscious woman.  Then Mamohan told his wife that she should leave her  job and help his mother in household chores. Shanta refused to leave her job blatantly which hit the ego of Manmohan and he began to behave more rudely with her . Shanta was not also so peaceful as her name implied. She also began to pay her husband in the same coin. 

                          One fine morning she left Manmohan's home for good and started living with her parents but  she continued her job. The ego of Manmohan did not allow him to bring his wife back despite of many requests by his mother. With the passage of time the gap between the two became deeper and both got busy with their jobs etc. Shanta started to visit the Ashram of a great saint of Kashmir alongwith her parents in her leisure time and became deeply involved with spirituality. As a matter of coincidence Manmohan also started to practice spirituality under the guidance of some south Indian Guru , who used to visit Kashmir in summers alongwith his disciples. He even suffixed his Guru's surname with his name and accomplished various spritual tasks under his guidance .

                     The Guru of Shanta was very revered and famous saint  of  Kashmir. He also tried hard to bring reconciliation in relations between  Manmohan and Shanta but failed in the mission as both remained adamant on their convictions. 

Time passed,  seasons changed and lot of water flowed from Jehlem but there seemed no chance of reconciliation  between the two. In the meantime mother and Guru of Manmohan died and he became lonely,  but he could  never reconcile with his wife. 

                One day Manmohan met Shanta on Budshah  Bridge Srinagar  as they were crossing the bridge on opposite sides . When they reached near each other Manmohan stopped in front of her. Shanta also had to stop. After exchanging pleasantries she  enquired about the death of her mother-in-law.  She said to Manmohan, "Kakni was a nice woman. May Shiva grant her sathgati."

Manmohan accepted her condolences while  nodding his head and bringing a fake smile on his face.

Then Manmohan said," can't we reconcile now and start living together again."

Shanta replied to Manmohan," We could not remain together in our youth and what is the fun of living together in the autumn of our lives, as we both are heading towards old age now."  Then pointing towards flow of water underneath the bridge she  said," you once said love is like a  river but I say life is like a  river and rivers never go in reverse . So try to live like a river . Forget your past and focus on your future."

Then Manmohan said," Even though I miss you so much it comforts me to know that we are atleast under the same sky."

Then Manmohan and Shanta again parted for good.

                          It was only after some time  kashmiri pandits had to migrate to Jammu and other parts of India due to turmoil and insurgency in Kashmir 

After migration of pandits to jammu , the parents of Shanta also died one after another and she became more dependent on Ashram now. Then her Guru also passed away and she decided to remain permanently at  Srinagar Alshram  as his services were required there. 

After some time both retired from their services consecutively one after another.   Manmohan also decided to remain at  Kashmir  only and finally shifted to Mata Khir Bhawani Ashram and started living there permanently in total penance .

                After a long time Manmohan could be seen there in long white beard, disheveled hair and unkept attire. He had become indifferent towards everything . Even his pension was stopped by the bank from a very  long time  , because he never bothered to submit his Life certificates  there.

Finally Manmohan died in the premises of Mata kshir Bhawani shrine , unknown and unlamented.   His last rites were also performed by unknown pilgrims present in the premises at that time. No body could claim his property and  Bank deposits maintained at Srinagar. 

Shanta also died quite recently leaving all her assets to Ashram. 

rkkaul.blogspot.com