My wanderings - 7

Once in my childhood I laid my hands on an old piece of paper depicting my family tree which started with the name of our ancestor Pt. Raja Kaul. There were many other names  of our ancestors  in descending order and lastly my grandfathers name ended the sequence. I could not understand the importance of preserving the piece of paper at that age and lost it in due course of time. Then I had a chance of reading an article in a magazine on Pt Jawahar Lal Nehru  showing family tree of Nehru family  which also started with the name of  pt. Raja Kaul as their first ancestor .  But I could not confirm whether it was a matter of coincidence that both family trees started with the same name or Pt. Raja Kaul was one and the same person in both the family trees. As I had lost my family tree document I could not compare other generations of both family trees which I deeply regret. However, list in  descending order of generations was so long in both the family trees that it was not a matter of surprise that Pt. Raja Kaul would have been one and same person to head the Kaul dynasty in Kashmir.
As far as I have heard from my elders I could recollect my  dynasty from Pt. Nand Kaul who had no child and adopted  male child from his cousin and named him Ram Kaul. Then wife of pt. Nand Kaul gave birth to her own  male child and named him pt. Amar Kaul who formed another clan of our dynasty.  Pt. Ram Kaul worked in police Dept. as a clerk and was married to Smt. Sampkuji from Labru family. Pt. Ram Kaul was a quick witted person  with a  bit  of hot  temperament  and his wife a pious and kind lady. He had two sons and two daughters. His elder son pt. Laxman Kaul, my grand father was a very  religious  and intelligent man and worked in State Excise Deptt. He was married to smt.Radhamali from Rainas  family. My Grandmother was also very beautiful and intelligent woman. They gave birth to two sons Pt. Gopi Nath Kaul and  my father Pt. Sham Lal kaul. My grandfather Pt. Laxman Kaul died very young   at  the age of  29 years only.  My father was only two years old at that time. Pt. Laxman Kaul was very religious man. On every  'shuklpaksh Ashtami' he used to visit Mata Kheer bhawani shrine  at Tulamula , which was approximately 25 kms away from his residence at Srinagar. Like most of the people ,those days,  he used to visit the shrine on foot as there was no  availability of public transport. Once he applied  for  a days leave with the same purpose, but his senior  rejected his leave application. He was left with no other alternative but to start his journey in the evening on foot and travel to and fro through out the night. After his brief  sojourn  and paying his oblations at the shrine , he reached the office on time next day. After few days the right hand of the officer who had rejected  his leave application was paralyzed. But it is not known whether the officer  realized his mistake or at least connected his sickness with the above mentioned  incident or not. Due to the death of my Grandfather at an early age, my father and my uncle were brought up by their grandfather Pt.Ram Kaul and  uncle Pt.Samsar Chand Kaul, a dedicated and hard working man who was married to  smt.Tarawati from  chakoo family of Rainawari. They  had five daughters and a Son. The name of their son is Sh.Girdhari Lal Kaul who is settled at pathankot.
My uncle Pt. Gopi nath Kaul was a sharp witted and intelligent person who was first Dentist in the valley. His Son Dr. A.K.Kaul was a renowned and first graduate dental surgeon in the valley.
My father a devout Hindu got interested  in spirituality right from his childhood. After completing his education he joined medical department. Once on duty at Badgam Kashmir,  he was preying on the river bank early in the morning, a great saint  Swami Nand Lal ji of Badgam, who was lovingly called Mahatma ji  noticed him and advised him to join his teaching classes in the evening. My father most readily accepted his offer and started joining his classes and never looked back. Then my father became his most devoted desiple  and learned the delicacies of spirituality under his feet. My father lived a full satisfied life of a family man taking full responsibility of a family but remained aloof from the  worldly affairs. He was living example of spiritual virtues and embodiment of values envisaged by Gita.
My mother was a devoted  housewife and  a resourceful lady who used to manage all the affairs of our family. She was daughter of Sh.Sham Lal KaK, who was  one among first graduates in the valley  and  one of the pioneers of theater in Kashmir. His two sons  Sh.Amar Nath KaK and Sh. Som Nath KaK were  founders of optician business in Kashmir.
My parents gave birth to five daughters and two sons. I am the youngest in family and my elder brother Dr.V.K.Kaul is a renowned chemical engineer and first doctorate in chemical engineering from our family.

My Wanderings - 6

                               Every individual in this world may not be perfect, but  certainly  possesses a fair mix of good and bad qualities. The quantum of mix may vary from person to person. The good qualities of one person may over weigh his bad qualities and in case of another person reverse may be true. But it is universal truth that we are in habit of  exploiting  only bad qualities of a person rather than recognizing  the good qualities present in him. Good qualities of a person are always taken for granted and are rarely acknowledged.  Instead of exploiting bad qualities of a person,  if good qualities present in him are accounted for and occasionally expressed  to him, it will bring  more  goodness out of him and can  also produce reciprocal effect to the large extent. Moreover, exploiting bad qualities of a person and constantly pointing about  it to him will leave the person dejected and make him useless for all. The approach of  highlighting the good qualities of a person in a positive manner sometimes, help in lessening his bad qualities also. The positive approach will  also  change the scenario of our relationships  altogether  and such relationships can prove beneficial for us.
The qualities  of an individual may range from his personality to  behavior  and  bringing   in its fold his  cumulative  disposition. In order to find good qualities in a person we are obliged to take interest in his personality. There is always scope for a good quality in a person, whatsoever bad he may be. Finding of a good quality in a person  genuinely and expressing the same  honestly must be  essence of  our approach,  otherwise it may amount to psycho fancy.
If we sincerely praise a person for his hair style or a sense of dress, he will feel elated and devoid of any  tension or boredom in his life at least for that day.  Same is true in case a person is appreciated  honestly for his intelligence or good work done by him,  he  will try to mould himself to your expectations and can derive maximum satisfaction from the modest means  provided to him by life.  This approach sometimes works like a magic wand and performs miracles in life.
Money is important to make our lives smooth by providing the basic necessities of life to us, but it is not our ultimate aim. In addition to money, purpose in life and recognition is also necessary for our  individual growth.  Otherwise there is no difference in lives of men and animals. There are scores of examples in support of this view point. All rags to riches stories  in this world bear testimony to the fact that a small encouragement or  some recognition of their work by someone at some stage of life have made them to go ahead  and realize their dreams.
                                  It is a well known fact that a person can never be perfect. Perfectness is not human ,it  is divine, but err is human, imperfect ness is human. There can never be a dispute over this. Nature has provided different qualities to different persons. Some persons are very intelligent. Some persons are not so very intelligent. Some persons are literate and some persons are illiterate. But nature has bestowed some special powers to some persons who have  been deprived from other qualifications.  I remember a couplet in Urdu which I want to quote here.

Aay Dene wale too ne kami na ki
Ab kis
KO kya mila yeh mukadar ki baat hai

Oh! God you have not deprived any one from your graciousness
But fate of person decides how much one is entitled to receive

Intelligent and literate persons are not usually so bold  because before starting a  scuffle with some one they think about the consequences of it. They think about all the pros and con's of situation, they think about all legal delicacies of case which hinders them to take any bold step or a timely action and make them timid in the eyes of others. Actually they do not want to take law in their own hands.  However, on the other hand an illiterate or ignorant person with out thinking about the pros and con's of situation will reciprocate  in time and  that will make them bold in the eyes of others. Many times actual meaning of words loose their significance and we start believing in the meaning  of it derived by others.

My wanderings - 4

               The life teaches many  lessons to each and every individual irrespective of his field of occupation or Profession.   Maxim Gorky a renowned writer of Russia who is famous for his book 'THE MOTHER' has also written  his Autobiography in two parts' My Childhood 'and 'My Universities'. He has never  formally attended a school and not to speak of  joining universities. He has done all the odd jobs in his childhood as a domestic servant, bakers help and  shop Assistant. Latter in his youth he  spent time with  many ruffians, failures in life and dejected persons, whom he refers as  great teachers in his pursuit of knowledge. Most of characters in his books are same  type of persons from whom he learned great lessons of life  and which inspired  him to write his great classics.
Same is the case with another great writer of Russia Fyodor Dostoevsky, who is famous for his books 'Crime and Punishment' and 'Brothers Karamazov'. He  has spent his time with criminals , drunkards and persons discarded by society which prompted him to author best books of world. Dostoevsky was also  considered as a great expert on criminal psychology.
Therefore, a positive approach to a calamity can change it into  an opportunity and negative approach can turn every opportunity into calamity. It is well said that we should hate the sin but not the sinner.
Learning  from the  experiences of life is a great option available  and  that is not confined to particular group of persons only and formal colleges and universities are not the only  platforms of learning.
In our Hindu scriptures like 'Ekadashaskand'  the writer describes  a prostitute as his teacher because he learns from her the lesson of concentration, with which she is waiting for her customers.
There are some exceptions also which can not be ruled out. Moreover,
experience is not  a form of legacy which can be inherited like deposits or property by the descendent. If you want to teach someone from your own experience, he will not learn. He learns only with his own experiences.
Vivekananda a great saint of India has said , Don't believe a thing if somebody has said it so. Don't believe a thing if you  have read it from a book. Find out the truth yourself and that is realization.
The experiences influence convictions and the different  experience on same subject  can form different convictions. A person deceived in love by a woman will form the opinion that all the  woman are deceitful and a man having good experience of love with woman will adore such relationship.
                     Life is a great university which gives opportunity to every person to learn with his own experiences and  dejections and failures in life, are great teachers which lead him to success.  I quote here an Urdu couplet

Rang lati hain hina pather pe gis Jane ke  baad
Aqal aati hain bashar KO thokre khane ke  baad

Mehndi becomes colorful only after grinding it on stone
Man becomes wise only after failures and dejections

Realization of facts  behind the experiences of life,  sometimes, accelerate the learning process in the university of life, overcoming hurdles like failures and dejections and paving way for success and glory. However only success should not be the ultimate aim of life. Learning from the experiences of  life and harnessing the same for the betterment of society also leaves enough scope for achieving the aims and aspirations cherished by some persons.
Coming on the lighter side I am sharing a personal incident about one of my colleagues working with me in the Bank , who had once confided to me that he was  interested in philosophy but had to join bank because of financial constraints. Once chatting with our boss in our lunch hours we started discussing philosophy and literature. Our boss told us that these philosophers are queer type of people, who can mostly be found  in colleges and  universities. My friend had a  reservation for this comment of our boss. He replied to boss," No Sir, I don't agree with you.   philosophers  can be found anywhere. Even in Banks you can find  them". Perhaps  he was attracting the attention of boss to himself.
It appeared to be a joke at that time. But it was conveying the  message  that philosophy and literature are not  the domain of some professions  and can not remain confined to the four  walls of some educational institutions only.  But this whole world  is arena for  learning and experiencing the stark reality of life, which forms the basis of all philosophies and literature.

My wanderings - 3

                         It is a well known saying that 'Nothing is good or bad but thinking makes it so'. Sometimes Small problems, if dealt with wrong or negative  approach, become  big problems for us and others who are dealing with us. In the same way big problems dealt , with right or positive approach, get minimized for us, as well as for others concerned with us. There will be less problem so far as our thinking and approach is related with ourselves only. But man is a social animal and he can not live alone in a forest like Robinson Crusoe. He has to interact with others in his family, office and society. Moreover, modern technology in communication means like mobile phones,TV, internet and various fast  transport modes  have made this world very small, accessible and transparent. Therefore, it is necessary to learn some skills or tips when we have to deal with others to make our as well as the  life of others meaningful and purposeful, devoid of any  tensions, which later on culminate into depressions. No person in this world is without problems. The problems can be diverse  in nature. It may be personal,domestic, official and so on and so forth. All the problems originate due to  the 'inbox' mindset of  a person and the solution to all the problems is 'out of the box ' attitude of him. Therefore, problems will never originate if a person will cultivate an 'out of box ' thinking attitude as a habit. The 'out of box' thinking means change of outlook or approach of a person towards a problem. It is easier said than done.   But if a person really has a will can aspire for this art.
This can be explained by the simple example of husband and wife relation,  which is most intimate and is therefore, more prone to contradictions and conflicts. Both husband and wife are working and they have a small child. The child awakes  in the midnight and starts crying. The husband after hearing his first cry comes out of the bed and changes the nappy of child and makes him to sleep again. This is 'out of box'  approach to the problem. The problem is solved. But this attitude of husband is very rare.
Normally what husband will do? He will not come out of the bed. He will think that his wife is deliberately skipping the problem. This is her job. She has become very lazy. I can not afford to sacrifice my sleep. I have an important meeting to attend tomorrow. He will try to awaken his wife so that she can take care of the child. The thoughts of ill will  against his wife will form a never ending chain. This can be defined as an  'in box' approach of husband towards his wife. The wife can also harbor  reciprocate feeling against her husband, even if she will not say anything verbally. Some times these small grudges   in succession will  even lead to the breaking of marriage and small favors of husband can save the marriage and build the bond of  confidence and affection between the two.
This small incident may appear exaggerated to some persons  but it forms the base of  the behavior and attitude of an indudual and is applicable in  all walks of life.  The positive outlook can make our other relations and friendships more  adorable and affordable.
This can  also make our official commitments more easier and comfortable.
Sometimes we judge our children in home or our juniors at work place with our experienced and matured outlook and complain about them or reprimand them for their careless approach and mistakes.  We forget that what mistakes we were committing and what type of outlook we had when we were of their age. When we recall our youth,  we feel that they are still far better than us. If we deal with our children or  juniors with that perspective most of our problems will be automatically  solved  and make better environment for us in home and office.
I want to share my personal experience when I was  newly posted as Manager Operations at Jawahar Nagar Srinagar branch  in late nineties. Once in office I noticed that a customer  was quarreling with one of my colleagues seated on Fixed deposit counter. He was telling her to close all his Fixed Deposits as he does not want to keep any deposit at this branch. I requested the customer to come to me , offered him a chair and listened patiently to all his complaints and made a list of them. The customer was a superintending engineer and posted in public works Deptt.  One of his complaints was that he was having so many fixed deposits and he was not allowed to open a savings Bank account with out proper introduction and challenged me  to open one for him. I immediately managed to open his savings Bank account with my introduction after checking his credentials and redressed most of his grievances  on spot. He was glad  and continued to be our customer.  My colleague handling Fixed Deposit was surprised to see the customers changed disposition. Then he visited the branch again to make a Bank Draft which I managed for him within a short period  of time and introduced him to my colleague on draft counter as a valued customer of branch. Then I completely  forgot about this incident.
Once I was waiting for a public conveyance  out side the bank, as I had to visit my relatives.  I was surprised to see a long car stopped in front of me and a gentleman alighted from the driving seat of car and began to exchange pleasantries with me. It was the same customer whom I had helped in the branch. He offered me a lift in his car and introduced me to his wife, who was already in the car, as his valued Bank Manager. Then he dropped me at my destination , out of turn , despite of my much reluctance, as his route was quite different.

My wanderings - 2

In young age every person has a rebellion tendency. I had also a little share of rebellion in me when I was young. I was trying to be rationale and therefore, never believed in superstitions which were interwoven in the fabric of our society in general. In the course of my wanderings my close neighbor and friend Sh.P.K.Mattoo gave me a book entitled ' Be Gone God Men' written by Dr.Abrahim Kavoor, of Sri Lanka, who was the only doctorate in parapsychology and has devoted his life in erasing the menance of  superstitions in the society. He had written  about  fifty case histories of  patients suffering from psychological disorders and treated them successfully.  By reading these case histories, prima facie, it appears from the behavior of  persons mentioned therein, that they had been haunted by some supernatural powers or ghosts.  Later on reader understands the rationale of their disease which had been  basically psychological in nature.
In one of the cases a housewife found that all the clothes in her wardrobe were cut into pieces,  a pair of shoes lying in her rice cooker and some one had written on the walls of her bedroom that this is a haunted house. She visited many quacks and Charlton's  to free her house from the shadow of ghosts but without any use. Latter on she visited Dr.kavoor on the recommendations of her friend. Dr. Kavoor brought her into subconscious state of mind and she agreed that she was doing it herself  and  she will not do it again. When she came to her conscious state of mind. she was unaware of any thing but she was cured of  the disease. which Doctor Kavoor had diagnosed purely as psychological.
Some God men  do miracles stop their pulse, produce holy ash or watches for their disciples which are simple  tricks manipulated by them.  Dr. Kavoor was knowing all these tricks himself and he challenged to all Godmen  that whosoever does a  miracle in his presence  will be rewarded with rupees one lakh. It was a huge amount in early seventies. No God men accepted his challenge. He once said that I am not a rich man ,if I ever loose the challenge,  I will be reduced to destitutes but I am sure that I will  never loose the challenge. It is necessary to mention here that one eminent  scientist  who was scientific advisor to Govt. of India and disciple of some Guru accepted his challenge but lost the same. Dr.Kavoor had spent many nights in graveyards, crematory grounds and many haunted houses to find the ghosts but he could never locate one. According to him ghosts are created by the weak will of person in the form of hallucinations.
By reading this book I became more confident and  it also strengthened my belief to fight against superstitions. In the mean time I had also the chance of encountering  my pack of superstitions which I want to share with you.
It was when I joined my first job after graduation  at newly built watch factory in Srinagar. It was a tough time and very odd working hours that I  had to face. I used to have weakly night and day shifts which changed alternately. Once while  attending the night shift, I came to know that  one of my colleagues who was on duty last week,  got possessed by  a ghost as he had created a scene when he was working lonely in a big hall. He had rolled on the ground and yelled nonsense dialogs   and in a fit of rage he fell unconscious and was taken to hospital, where he was  recovering then. My boss called  me and  advised   that  we should not believe in superstitions and the scene created by our colleague may lead  even to closure of factory . You should take care while working on his seat and  try to  falsify his drama.   However, we are keeping another person with you in  the hall.I was eagerly looking for such an opportunity and I readily agreed to his proposal with a thrill of adventure.
I started my work on that very allegedly  haunted seat and my colleague was working about thirty feet ahead of me. With the passage of time pitch  darkness of night  engulfed exteriors and the sullen  atmosphere of  hall appeared more gloomy and melancholic despite of enough illumination inside.   My colleague working in the same hall would come to me after a gap of every half an hour,  with fear writ large on his face, to seek my encouragement. Sometimes he would leave the hall to while away the time. Once he left me alone in the hall for two hours and when I tried to look for him, I found him chatting with  security guards in lower floor near the gate which was far away from the hall. Then after completing our shift and with out witnessing any untoward incident, we left for our residences.  Later on as expected, this event did not fetch me any laurels but only strengthened  my belief against superstitions.
Another incident happened after my marriage. I was newly married and invited  by my in-laws to attend the 'Hawan  ceremony'  which they were performing at Mata Khir Bhawani,  temple at Tulamulla. They had also invited a Saintly person who was believed to be predicting everything rightly. I was also seated next to him but some of his unworthy  and cheap actions persuaded me to think otherwise of him . He would place some unknown objects in the hands of people and  tell them to close their fists and eyes. Then these persons would tell that after closing their eyes they have seen heavenly objects. I told him plainly that it is sort of hypnotism that   he was  doing and it has nothing to do with divinity. My statement made him angry and he  began to address me as  an atheist. Then he practiced the same trick  on me. He kept some small object on my right hand and  immediately clenching my fist  advised  me to close my eyes,  to which I meticulously obeyed.  Then after chanting some mantra he asked me to narrate what I was observing.  I could not see anything. He tried very hard but could not get any response from me. Then he threatened me that  as you are going to sleep next to me in the hall, I will show you the consequences of your arrogance in the midnight. As so many people were sleeping in the hall, I had to sleep next to him, but I slept nicely throughout the night without any obstruction.
Then by and by  many persons including my in-laws lost faith on him because of his actions unworthy of saints.

My Wanderings

In  my adolescent age like all other teenagers I developed a deep  sense of inquisitiveness for various aspects of life which persuaded me  to read books on subjects like philosophy, psychology, literature and many others.  I  was seeking answer to the queries which usually haunted my mind and books were the only source to satisfy my curiosity. In this process I lagged behind in my studies and could not achieve any outstanding performance in this field. I remained tagged with a mediocre brand.
One of the books that influenced me very much was personal psychology of Alfered Adler. I got answers to most of my teenage queries which usually perturbed me.
The full description of complexes of a person  viz.Inferiority complex and superiority complex was well explained. It was really a discovery for me at that age to know that superiority complex does not exist at all and  it is only a form of inferiority complex. A person suffering from inferiority complex only makes show  of his superiority to hide his inferiority. The inferiority can be mental or physical. A person suffering from some physical disorder will be having his other faculties sharp in order to overcome his shortcomings.
A person usually in habit of saying that he is suffering from inferiority complex is actually suffering from superiority complex (again  a form of inferiority complex) because he wants to tell others that at least he knows what he is suffering from.
Daile carnige , the writer of best seller book 'How to influence people and win friends 'usually gives reference of personal psychology of Alfered Adler.
While explaining influencing the people, he writes... I like myself cream and strawberry but when I go for fishing I usually hook my fishing rod with a worm in order to catch the fishes. The worm is the favorite of fishes.  When we have to deal with a  certain person we should be aware of his liking. Some times people prepare themselves in others subject of interest if they have to deal with them.
It is easy to become an orator but very difficult to become a good listener. Once upon a time I was invited by a friend to a party and he introduced to me to a very important client. The client gave me good lectures on his Various favorite subjects to which I listened very patiently. I had hardly spoken a word but while leaving, the client told to my friend that I was a very good speaker.
Sometimes it is better to suggest your subordinates than ordering them and it is better to win the will of person you are dealing with rather than to win his argument. By winning a argument your ego is satisfied but consequently  you loose a friend or client.
I was myself living with a guilt that I could not do much justice with my studies, but when I see my life in retrospect, I can  visualize  that at the start of my career ,although , I  was not well equipped to earn my living but I was well equipped with the art of living. I was not professionally intelligent but I had gained some worldly wisdom. I was well equipped to face the  problems  of life with patience and calmness. It was my strength, which I recognized in latter part of my career but it helped me a lot. I could stand the official as well as domestic pressures with ease.
The criterion of intelligence must  not be related only with cramming of books and passing of competitive exams but considered  with initiative, planning and quick decision making of a person.
Although I agree that wisdom comes to a  person with experiences and age  but I feel that our education system should have provision to inculcate qualities of patience, perseverance and etiquette in students  along with academic knowledge. Because some persons never grow up in life they only grow old. Moreover, I have rarely seen a fair mix of  intelligence and wisdom in a person. Both these qualities blended together can make a person perfect to great extent.

Hangama hain kyonv barpa thodi see jo pee hai

Akbar Allahbadi a great  urdu poet was born in 1846 and died in 1921 in Allahabad. His small couplets in urdu  written  more than a century ago are very fascinating and have amazing resemblances with the political, ethical and cultural values of present times.

1.Quom ke  GAM me dinner khate hain hukkaam ke saath
    Ranj  leader KO bohut hain magar aaraam ke saath.
   (They cry over the community's woes with rulers over fine dinners.
   The leader talks of sorrows but in comfort.)

This couplet has  similarity with present political set up in our country. Our Prime Minister Mr.Modhi emerged recently as a national leader representing the ethos of common man with chaiwala image, which helped him to win the elections and form Government.  But within a span of nine months only he was seen shaking hands and discussing investments in india with Obama ,draped in rupees ten lakh worth made in england suit,  probably to impress common man in India who voted for him and who himself  is below poverty line and  still lives in dearth of basic necessities of life I.e.food,clothing and shelter. His outfit was betraying his disposition and image in public life. Pt.Nehru first P.M. of India, whose image is being maligned these days,  abandoned foreign clothes for handwoven khadi  inspite of his rich ancestry.

2.Beparda nazar aaye Jo kal chend bibyan
   Akbar zameen mai  gayrate qomi se garh gaya
   Poocha Jo Maine apka purda tha kya hua
   Kahney lage ki aqal pe mardoon ke pad gaya
( yesterday when I saw a few women without  a veil, I was stunned for lack of morals in community. When I enquired about their veil. They told me that it has covered the intellect of men.)

It is true in present scenario also.  All types of morals and ethics are  imposed upon the women only. In Islamic countries women are advised to remain in veils and are  deprived of all rights. In our secular country also newspapers are full of news items of rape  and exploitation against women. Whenever such incidents happen some of our moralists start lecturing on the dress etiquette and make up of women. They say women should not enjoy full liberty in society as they are prone to high risk. Therefore, they are advised not to use cellphone or not to celebrate velentaine day which is direct attack on their fundamental rights. But it is not actually attire of women or liberty enjoyed by women but mindset of  some men that needs to be transformed, which is covered with the veil of lust and male ego. Men and women are inseparable parts of our society. Men should not perceive woman as an object of entertainment . Woman should always be respected as  she represents the image of our mother, sister and daughter. Such type of mindset in men will definitely ensure safety of woman. Ramakrishna paramhansa   regarded every woman as the incarnation of Maa Kali. However we can not expect all men  to be having such high morals but at least mindset of some men needs to be changed so that they can respect woman.

3.Sidharenge Sheikh Kaba to hum  Englistan jayenge
   Woh Khuda ka ghar dekhenge, Hum  Khuda ki Shaan dekhenge
   (When Sheikh will go to Kaba we shall visit  England
   He will see the home of Lord and we shall see the grace of Lord).

With spiritual pursuits and renunciation , development and pursuit of  nature is also necessary because lord manifests in its creation as described by our religions. What is  characteristic  feature of   Kashmiri Shivism that it says all things are manifestations of this consciousness but the phenomenal world (Shakti)  is real ,having its being in consciousness (chit).
Moreover, Development is the sign of life and disaster signifies death.   A person  can not escape from development. It is the reward for persons continuous hard  work for years together in pursuit of achieving excellence.

4. Huye is kadar mohzib kabi ghar ka na muh dekha
     Kati umar hotloo me, mare haspataal me jakar.
     ( we have become so much civilized that we have never visited home
       We spent our life in hotels and died in hospitals)

These days In blind pursuit of materialistic objects,  a person is getting detached with his roots. He is forgetting his language  and culture, which is otherwise necessary for the balanced growth and development of an indudual. A person should not be taken away by the winds of development and prosperity. He should keep his cool and maintain his induduality.